The Write Stuff

Pissed-Off College Student Leaves Greatest Voicemail Ever

THE GREATEST VM left EVER!!! LMAO I shouldve left Hofstra Financial Aid about 12 of these!

Dope Mashup of the Old Total Recall movie clips and audio from the new Total Recall. 

Swag Tyrion Lannister out! #GameOfThrones #GOT

The Walking Dead: John Bernthal (Shane) reveals his idea for an alternate ending for his character. Writers should’ve went this way. Dope concept!

jasfly:

YA’LL GOT ‘COOL’ ALL WRONG

My friend has a theory: you are as an adult, who you were as a child. The only thing that ever changes is how you learn to handle the world around you.

A couple of weeks ago someone came to me asking for my thoughts on a rather vulnerable subject: they wanted to know why ‘the cool kids’ weren’t accepting them. I was a little taken aback. I’m not the best person to ask, I wouldn’t know. I’m not a ‘cool kid’. 

Before I go any further, the reality is, even as adults, many of us still struggle with not feeling ‘___________ enough’. If we didn’t, there’d be no beauty, self-help or even ice cream industry (ok, maybe the ice cream part is just me). My point is, before you judge, at least this person had the balls to say it, out loud.

We talked for some time and after asking a few questions, I realized the real problem wasn’t this persons’ social acceptance, but rather a misconception of what ‘cool’ actually is. And this person is not alone.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret: the cool kids aren’t really all that cool.

You need to get out more, champ…

At the end of The Devil Wears Prada, Miranda Priestly turns to her assistant and declares, “Oh don’t be ridiculous Andrea, everybody wants this…everybody wants to be us.”

Keep your distance from anyone who thinks this way. They’re the ‘Al Bundy’s’ of the world. 

Kim is one of my closest friends. We’ve known each other since 9^th grade and while I’m here in New York, Kim is in Texas getting her doctorate in Art History. We speak on average once a week and what I love about Kim is she talks to me with just as much fever about African art and her life in Texas as I talk to her about rappers and entertainment. She has no idea who or what a Waka Flocka is, she could care less. And I love her for it.  She does not want my life. 

Don’t confuse cool with insecure.

Many talk day in and day out about ‘protecting their circle’, not realizing that the very fence you build to keep ‘the others’ out, can quickly become the cage that holds you in. Cool is being open, remaining somewhat connected to a variety of people, and new experiences. Even the ones you may not initially understand. If you believe that there’s only one ‘cool’, then you haven’t seen enough of the world to know differently, and therefore are unqualified to determine what’s cool in the first place.

You know how I know your crew is lame?

Everything you see on social media isn’t real. Browser thugging. Tweet stunting. Instagram modeling, will only ever tell a fraction of the story. 

Some of your favorite ‘Online Celebs’ were the kids who always felt they had something to prove.

I have a great amount of respect for Toure. I’ve read his writing for years, every time I see him, he’s incredibly warm, kind and he’s not afraid to speak his mind, even if that goes against the popular opinion. But in 2012, cyber-dissing Toure seems to be a favorite twitter pastime. 

Now, I too am no saint. While I’ve never said anything about Toure, I’ve typed my fair share of negativity towards others over the years. And then one day I had an epiphany.

One morning I saw someone tweet something ridiculously heinous to Tyrese. It was completely out of the blue, unprovoked, and done purely for attention. Now, I know this person…and – having interviewed Tyrese – I can say I have a fairly good idea of the type of guy he is as well. But as I read this tweet, and then watched it being retweeted, I couldn’t help but think, this would have never been said to Tyrese’s face. 

In fact, most of the shit talking you see online, would never be done in person. Some of the loudest people online are quiet as church mice in real life, only content with throwing jabs from behind a screen. Now if that’s not the definition of lame, I don’t know what is.

Cool people don’t have time for cyber thugging. They consider their lives too valuable and have too much to lose to put all of their business on display for the world to see. And they certainly wouldn’t say something virtually, that they wouldn’t say to someone’s face.

Even the best of us scream YOLO every now and then and pray it doesn’t come back to bite us in the ass, but only a fool sits behind a screen and types away like they have nothing to lose. And someone with nothing to lose rarely has anything (of value) to offer.

But what else you got?

I work in an industry where the perks can be boundless. From concert and courtside tickets, to sneakers to free trips, there’s always something new and exclusive to get your hands on. And none of it should define you. 

Those that let it define them, were the kids in school that only felt good about themselves when they had the new, hot shit.

Access is a privilege, not a character trait. Now don’t get me wrong, I benefit often from well-placed hook-ups – for which I am genuinely grateful – but an early mentor of mine once told me, “Build relationships with people, not the brand.”

There’s no better example of this than Damon Dash who in 2003 proclaimed, ‘I can never be broke, because I have rich friends.’

I’m just going to let you think about that one for a minute…

Relationships based on an anything other than a genuine admiration and respect for one another – be it material gain, professional growth or social status – have a shelf life.  And when your supply of ‘cool shit’ runs out, so will many of your ‘friends’.

Cool story, bro

The very first time I met Will Smith was in 2004. I was at an event when he overheard a conversation between three friends and I. He walks over and proceeds to shake each of our hands and introduces himself, “Hi, I’m Will.”

Will Smith’s box office total is $787,333,389; he has 3 platinum albums, 3 Grammy’s and a classic television show. We knew who he was. 

Will – you know, cause in my head we’re bff’s now – didn’t introduce himself to us on the off chance we didn’t recognize him, or to give us reason to fawn over him. He introduced himself to us because that’s what a normal human being (who’s not a dick) would do. He didn’t assume his own importance.

Now I will admit, I struggle with my own arrogance, often having to check myself when that ‘Daddy’s girl’ sense of entitlement tries to take over. The key is humility and remembering that the only promise life makes, is that it will go on.

Tatiana Grace, the head of Music for Twitter, said it best, “The world does not owe you fans.” It’s also easy to be nice to someone you need. The true test of how ‘cool’ you are, is how you treat the people you don’t.

I was at a brunch with relationship expert/television personality Tionna Smalls this weekend. Going in, I wasn’t quite a fan. I’d seen What Chilli Wants and didn’t quite ‘get’ Tionna and as we sat at the table, I told her this. But as time went on, and we all spoke about different topics, Tionna dominated, giving her opinion in such a relatable, non-judgmental way that you couldn’t help but like her. She knew her shit and whether she’s at a formal media brunch, on a television show or on the phone with her homegirl, she’s going to give it to you The Tionna Way. 

That sort of range can only come from knowing and understanding who you really are, away from the influence of others. She didn’t need me to like her, it won’t change who or how she is. Anyone who’s opinion of themselves is shaped by someone else’s opinion, is the very opposite of cool.

Nowadays I don’t much care if I’m cool or not. As my never-ending search for balance continues, I find myself putting more thought into vegetable juice cleansing, classic house music and Alice Walker books than worrying about who fucks with me.

Back to the conversation with the person worried about the cool kids acceptance. I encouraged them to focus more on themselves. Learn to become comfortable with yourself in any situation. Develop some perspective to recognize things for what they really are, and stop giving power to foolishness, and then calling it ‘cool’. 

The people with real power, money, influence and access are often some of the nicest people you will ever meet. They don’t subscribe to the Mean Girls mentality. They don’t have time to. The real cool kids ain’t worried about you.

And that’s what makes them cool. 

jasfly:

WILL THE REAL KILLER OF HIP HOP PLEASE STAND UP?

In 1999 my friends and I threw a New Years Eve party. While my home girl’s parents celebrated out of the country, we chilled champagne, pumped vodka into watermelons, mixed tequila with Jell-O and soaked strawberries in rum before dipping them in chocolate. Then we invited our friends to come get ratchet.

I spent most of New Years Day at the police station. When I finally got home, my father wasn’t interested in the incident that caused the trouble. He simply asked one question: What did you do?

Last week, B Dot from RapRadar, shared his growing frustrations on twitter about Hip Hop’s relationship with the media. ‘Who let hipster media dictate Hip Hop policy?…Ultimately I think White-Elitist Media outlets will be/is the downfall of Hip Hop’ (B Dot later clarified his statements weren’t about race, but rather cultural tourism). Either way, the tweets opened the floor for an interesting conversation between several journalists I both respect and read regularly. So is Hip Hop dying? And if it is, who’s killing it?

Two years ago Pitchfork began championing Lil B as the next big thing in Hip Hop. The Bay Area rapper already had an ample on the ground following, he was selling out shows, and with the Pitchfork co-sign stamped on his back, he took his movement around the country.

Young Basedgod ride hot when you bought it

30 on my dick on that court like Spaulding

Bitches suck my dick because I look like JK Rowling

Harry pot my bitch

I fuck my ho

Her brain is awesome

(Wonton Soup – Lil B 2010)

Soon Lil B was everywhere. He took the stage at Coachella, performed alongside Diddy, and last month was even invited to speak at NYU.

Back to New Years Day, 2000. Obeying my father, I listed out all of my pre-NYE actions. I’d booked the DJ, showed my friends how to make the alcoholic treats, and provided my own list of invitees. And as I listened to myself, I realized while I wasn’t directly responsible for the incident that caused the police involvement, I was very much responsible for why the guests were there in the first place.

The undoing of rap will never be about race, especially since the list of raps pioneers is far more multi-cultural than DJ Hollywood and Kool Herc. John Shecter, Dave Mays, Keith Naftaly, Hosh Gureli, Ted Demme, Pete Dougherty, Sophie Bramly, Sal Abatiello, Lyor Cohen, Bill Adler and Ann Carli, were undoubtedly some of the people responsible for this thing we call Hip Hop. And all (with the exception of Carli, who is half Asian) are white. The very ‘boom bap’ that helped definitively separate rap from the reigning Disco, (and what we came to know as ‘Def’) was first tapped out in the NYU dorm room of a chubby Jewish kid known for being a bizarre bully. But we’ll get back to Rick Rubin in a moment…

So here’s the tricky elephant in the room: is it possible that White/Elitist media isn’t killing Hip Hop? Perhaps Urban/Hip Hop media has dropped the ball.

In order to ponder Hip Hop’s death, we have to be clear on the circumstances of its birth. In the beginning, there was The Music, The Money and The People.

In Hip Hop’s early days, the people led, shaping the art form, defining the rules for what was to come. Eventually, with the rules in place, the music took over. That 90’s era – the sweet spot of rap – was a result of refining the early sounds and flows, producing work that even Hip Hop’s biggest detractors couldn’t deny. Suddenly we had the worlds ear. That’s when the money took over. Recognizing the unharnessed potential, everyone wanted a piece. And everyone with a piece, was willing to sell it.

And some in Urban Media forgot its number one principle: tell the stories of the people, to the people.

Let’s be clear, Lil B had an audience before Pitchfork. The indie publication didn’t create him. They simply paid attention. That is their job. An argument could be made that while Urban Media became tastemakers, and chased exclusives (which requires great relationships with artists), Pitchfork spent their time investigating what their core audience was listening to and then brought those stories back to the masses. 

Is Urban Media solely to blame? Of course not. What is souring rap culture is a collective plethora of ulterior motives, poor management, lackluster product and a chronic habit of ignoring the audience. In a sense, we threw a party and then let the guests take over and the shit got out of control.

Back to Rick Rubin. He’s as hippie as they come: rebellious, substance experimenting, irregular hygiene. His early work drips heavy of punk rock, leaving in is high school yearbook, ‘I wanna play loud. I wanna be heard. I want all to know. I’m not one of the herd.’

There’s room for everyone in Hip Hop – Sigh – even alt rappers like Lil B. As Hip Hop’s audience grows, they bring along with them their ever-diversifying taste. And we’ve seen artist transition to fit those growing tastes, creating sub genres. Will.I.Am’s decision to add white girl Fergie to Black Eyed Peas was met with criticism. But no one can deny the quality of the genre-bending music that followed.

The same thing has happened in Rock. Rock was born of blues, and has visited Death Metal, Glam, Grunge and even a sort of Rap/Rock hybrid. But it is very much alive. Because the same rebellious spirit that birthed it, the desire to thumb their nose at their parental oppressors thrives along with it. 

So the party is out of control. Don’t just sit there and wait for the cops to come. Get back on the mic and regain the attention of the crowd.

First we have to be honest with ourselves. There’s a reason rappers give a different type of interview to GQ, Vanity Fair or even Playboy than they do to an Urban publication. The quality of the product is different. And it’s not just about the writing, the questions asked, or even the Q&A vs. the narrative format. How’s the weight and gloss of your magazine’s paper? If Jay-Z sits for an exclusive photo shoot, will the photos be presented in high quality? Will the surrounding content be engaging? Fresh? Is it creative? Or will his brand be sandwiched between ads for liquor and cheap clothing that has nothing to do with him or his core sensibilities? What’s your mobile app like? Since over half of the demographic have abandoned print, will this exclusive content Kanye is giving you, be passed on to the audience in a forward moving way? Or is it stale, boring and capable of bringing the quality of his brand down?  Does your digital outlet produce high-quality original content? Or just aggregate everyone else’s posts? Do you tell stories? Or gossip?

Are you sure you know what your audience is interested in? Let’s not kid ourselves, there are more than just young white kids listening to Lil B. Lots of Black Women bought that W Magazine with Nicki on the cover. I’m definitely not the only negro bumping Bieber’s ‘Boyfriend’. 

If I tell you I’m hungry and you run out and return with a steak, baked potato and brussel sprouts, it does me no good. I don’t eat beef. But if you regularly ask me my likes, dislikes and what I have a taste for, when you return with crab cakes, garlic mashed potatoes and broccoli rabe, not only will I be satisfied, but I’m likely to return to you when it’s time for the next meal.

Steve Stoute, who (that I know of) doesn’t possess a MENSA qualifying IQ, has built a second career out of remaining entrenched in the culture, then taking that information back to corporate America, saying ‘tell it to the people like this.’

The party that is Hip Hop, is growing bigger by the second. I agree that, like Rock, the core fundamentals of Hip Hop need to be protected. Artists have to make better product, labels need to focus more on the music and less on the deals and Urban media needs to step it up. Nobody can take your woman away from you, but you. 

Hip Hop isn’t dying. It’s evolving. The real question is: are we evolving with it?

What New Years Eve of 1999 taught me was the responsibility of protecting your home, is yours alone. And should you throw a party that wrecks the place that you cherish, be ready to roll up your sleeves and clean it up. 

Check my newest article and practice these rules accordingly: http://p.ost.im/p/egmkCC (Taken with instagram)

signedfury:

crissle:

even if she looks like a truck. ricky be knowing.

LMFAO!

agforpresident:

WWE Superstars wishing John Cena a Happy Birthday

X_X at Mark Henry’s face

Mark Henry’s reaction still has me rollin

LOLOL

getpinched:

redsuspenders:

same

This right here. THIS RIGHT HERE… is Black… in America.

(via thenativeson)